THIS IS NOT TRUE.
The term ‘sexual minorities’ was coined by Lars Ullerstam in his essay “The Erotic Minorities: A Swedish View”. This book DID include sexual deviants, including pedophiles, ‘kinksters’ and sexual abusers in its definition of sexual minorities. He did NOT, however, coin the term GSRM, in which the term ‘sexual minorities’ has been reclaimed and redefined by the queer community.
To add to the debate: unlike sexual orientations like hetero-, homo-, bi-, pan-, etc., pedophilia is still defined as a psychiatric disorder and only accurately describes a person’s preference for a certain age group. Simply put: it doesn’t belong in the same category as sexual minorities any more than any other sexual deviancy, such as bestiality, would. Let’s not allow pedophilia activists gain any more ground by letting them shoehorn into other people’s spaces, yeah?
Let me start this by apologizing in advance for any snark you feel is unwarranted in my answer. It’s not necessarily directed at you, just the dozen-plus Asks I got asking the same thing with varying degrees of rudeness. So, on that note:
As an agender person, why wouldn’t I wear a binder? Or a dress? Or both, if I felt like it? By the sheer definition of the word, I don’t apply gender roles to my identity and that extends to clothing, as well. That doesn’t mean I walk around in a potato sack, it means I wear whatever I want, when I want.
A binder is a handy way to present as even less gendered, and it’s especially handy when I’m wearing a stiff cotton shirt, the fabric of which tends to chafe my nipples. I’d apologize if that seems too personal, but let’s all be honest: people are asking about my undergarments. I have nipples that chafe easily. Bras have this annoying way of contouring, lifting, and padding in ways I don’t find comfortable or want to present.
Being agender doesn’t mean I have to present as neutral as possible. Yes, I tend to like utilitarian, unisex clothing, but sometimes I like to wear a dress (hell, even a wig now and then), and other times, I like to wear combat pants and a leather jacket, binder ‘n’ all. These days don’t take away from my identity, they just add to it. I’d even go so far as to say, days like that wouldn’t alter anyone else’s identities, either.
Presentation ≠ The Be-All-End-All of Gender Identity; it’s just a fraction of it, the importance of which varies from person to person.
And for the record: it is pretty rude to ask people about their fucking underwear. I’m only answering because so, so many people keep asking and I’m giving everyone a benevolent fucking educational moment.
So, to more simply answer the question, "why do [I] wear a binder?" None of your god damned business, that’s why.
Unfortunately, yes, I’ve been in very similar situations (and still often am). Doubly unfortunately, that’s kinda just life.
Your validity will always be questioned.
Especially if you’re a woman and especially if you identify as queer in any way. If your outward appearance was more masculine, people would question your validity as a woman at all. If you said you liked video games, people would ask for a laundry list of titles to validate your affections. Fuck, even if you said you preferred ice cream over cake, people would still say “Well, what about cheesecake or ice cream cake, huh?”
No matter how much you change yourself to fit ridiculous stereotypes, no matter how many game titles you rattle off, no matter how many stories you tell about barfing up cake — the same people who questioned you will find fault or continue to question any way you identify. Some of these people aren’t bad, just annoying or need a good dose of shut up juice.
But here’s the good news:
You know yourself better than anyone.
So the next time sometimes questions your validity, whether it’s because you appear feminine and identify as queer or because you hate cake, look them straight in the eye and tell them I’m pretty fucking sure I know myself better than you do.
Hey, who made you the expert on validity, anyway?
I kid, but seriously: solid advice up there. If you’re not getting questioned about one thing, it will be another. The vast majority of humans simply exist in a constant "I’m right and everyone else is wrong” mentality, so choose your battles wisely. Adopting some of that deluded self-assurance is really the best defense.
As much as I would love to be some awesome harpy bird girl with wings and heck some feathers tastefully placed, but, I know how it would really go down:
No but, I’ve seen the fly. No good can come from hybridization. No good.
Welp, that forever ruins my mental image of being some badass corvid person. Damn you, cloacae!
I have things in my brain. Are they delicious? Are they disturbing?
The only way to make me disgorge them into this word box are by asking me questions!
ASK ME YOUR PIERCING QUESTIONS THAT I MIGHT CREATE AN OPENING IN MY SKULL FOR YOOOOOUUUUU
Ask Ian stuff!
Become a zombie and eat his brains!
Figuratively. Of course….