Honestly, not that many things! In fact, shockingly little, but our battles do seem to come from two main sources: 1. aesthetics, and 2. wording.
On topic of aesthetics, we’re usually in sync, but we still approach the same ideas from completely different angles (figuratively and literally), so we can sometimes butt heads over which is better. And when it comes to wording, well, that’s essentially the same problem. We agree on pretty much everything, but I’m blunt to a fault and K tends to put a lot of meaning in between the lines of what’s said. As you can imagine, in perfectly Odd Couple fashion, hijinks sometimes ensue.
But it’s okay, every couple fights at some point. Ours are infrequent and burn out quickly; we’ve never had a fight last for more than a couple of hours. We just don’t function that way. Making up usually involves a lot of mutual apologizing and assurances of how crazy we are for each other (again, figuratively and literally). Then making up usually turns into making out, and… Well, etc. By the end of the whole thing, we’re usually joking around and possibly showering.
As for in-fight tactics, I think everyone resorts to some pretty silly behavior in the heat of battle. K’s tactics usually revolve around wanting space and alone time, and mine are centered around over-explaining everything (no really, unfettered, I would eventually try to argue how the Sun is to blame for all of our problems, what with its stupid gravitational pull and all) and being in-your-face-whether-you-like-it-or-not. Again, Odd Couple-like hijinks obviously ensue.
All in all, the takeaway should be that all couples argue, as I’m sure you’re aware. They’re weird, sometimes cathartic moments of chaos that, in moderation and restraint, can be very healthy in the end. As long as you can leave an argument loving each other as much or more than ever before, you’re a-okay.
That’s not to be rude or anything, it’s just that we met online back in the late ’90s, so needless to say, the internet has changed a lot since then and those sorts of chats just don’t exist anymore.
Instead, I’ll offer you advice: the best way to find someone is to not look for them. No, really.
In an era with matchmaking sites and apps like OKCupid, Tinder, and god knows what else, it seems like people are trying to make finding their perfect mate as simple as finding the right algorithm. That’s not how K and I found each other at all. I’ll give you the dirty truth:
We roleplayed together. A lot. Like, hundreds of hours of deep, dark nerdy stuff before we even got to know each other personally. We played lots of different characters off each other and happened to enjoy our chemistry together enough to eventually start chatting on a personal basis. That led to hours of chatting about everything under the sun and only after years of that, we got romantic, and the rest is officially history.
The moral to that story is that, sometimes, the right person takes a lot of time. It can help to think outside of the usual Dating Box; instead of meeting someone with the intention of a relationship and sussing out all of the detailed personal stuff and interests after the fact, try the whole thing backwards. Go to communities, chatrooms, and group activities that suit your interests, develop a rapport between those people, and make bonds. You could be surprised.*
*(I mean, hell, at the time we met, I swore I would never date anyone in my life, and I was lying about my age and sex online. Neither K or I expected to fall for each other at first, but that’s what happens when you don’t try. A parting piece of trivia for your thoughts.)