I love not drinking, because of how funny my friends are when they’re drunk. One friend decided to chase a skunk in through the park, then knelt stopped to kneel down in the sand and started licking it.
There was this time.
This time, sometime last year, where one or two slightly too strong martinis were consumed, and a small band of us wound up at the local graveyard. I saw one of many water pumps out there and said, “man, I am really thirsty. We should totally try that.”
It wasn’t until well into the next morning I realized we had sipped graveyard ground water. We drank people.